If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please do not hesitate to talk to someone. However we had our first date in June 2018, and spent the best part of a year in the kind of 'casual, not labeling this, taking it slow' kind of stage. The therapist is there to help you untangle and alleviate any worries you may have. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. I am also a catfish. I suffer from OCD symptoms and have been diagnosed with anxiety. Am I using OCD as an excuse or do I deserve the guilt/shame that I'm feeling? Even though I didn’t blackmail or share the nudes/chats anywhere, I feel disgusting and deeply regret that I’ve lied to people to even have those conversations in the first place. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Ways of thinking that helped me: realise that I had this image of my relationship needing to be “pure”. spoiler nsfw. Please help. My sexual past stems from my warped up views of lust and I would recommend anybody that excessively masturbates and can't control it to please stop. Join date: Jan 2018. I can’t tell you how to deal with it in relation to talking your partner, but I would seek help if you haven’t already. There’s still wrong been caused by actions even if the people didn’t realise they were being catfished. What it has settled into is real event OCD, which was so distressing to me I sought help and was diagnosed in 2019, went through some therapy and managed to overcome and achieve what really did feel like recovery. One particular event from my past has come back to haunt me big time and I'm back in at the deep end. When its not Real Event OCD its the What If/Fill in the blanks OCD. Genetics was found to account for around 40 per cent of the variance in OCD … Step 2: Do not react to any of the Cheating OCD thoughts with fear. Instead, react with indifference and allow the thoughts to just be there. Right now it feels like even attempting to be compassionate with myself is taking away from what I did. Intrusive thoughts are always an OCD lie. I just wanted someone else's thoughts on this. It tears me up inside and I can't let go of these thoughts at all. I know that the right way to deal with real-event OCD is probably the same like for all the other forms of OCD, I just think it is very helpful to read articles like this one above and the fact that i can´t really find any other information beside this article makes me feel quite helpless. Real event is one of the most common ocd themes. Forum User. Need others thoughts please . Then, in October 2018 I was on holiday with some friends when 'the incident' happened. A requested video from the comments section of an older vid about real event OCD. This post has been thanked 3 times. What does accountability look like for someone in my shoes - what is the right thing to do. That even if explicit cheating has occurred, many relationships can and do survive! We eventually agreed to be boyfriend and girlfriend in May 2019. I liked her, I would never want to hurt her, but I did this stupid thing. Forum User . I realise this might sound like I'm searching for reassurance and I know that's counter productive, but I just felt like I needed to get my thoughts down on paper (so to speak) and try and work out how the hell I go forward. He did help me, but it was clear he didn’t know how to fully treat these kinds of thoughts. Cookies help us deliver our Services. Try to build some self-compassion. Is there any hope of real help for them? Actions do not affect your value as a person. It is such a grey area (OCD latches on to these) and a topic that is so emotionally charged and guilt-ridden that it just dominates. And it's fine to regret it and feel guilt - but if it's this strong, it's OCD. Something that happened about 6 years ago which at the time I didn't think twice about. Treatment for OCD. Hi Reddit. I wanted to be invisible but I also wanted to talk to men (it’s pathetic, I know). And worst of all, I have been hiding it from her for two years. Previous relationship experiences, such as being cheated on in the past, may also be a trigger, but it's not the ultimate cause of ROCD. Happy to answer questions if this didn't make sense. Location: Midlands. Our relationship has been going brilliantly, and this hadn't bothered me. I can’t tell if the level of guilt I’m feeling is real event ocd or if this just what I deserve to be feeling. The idea that someone has been hurt by my actions is very troubling to me and I wish I could back and stop myself from behaving in this way. Cookies help us deliver our Services. This post has been thanked 2 times. So I've been locked in a cycle of anxiety, googling for advice and reassurance for days now, the guilt is overwhelming me. I can't get the thought out of my mind that this wasn't ok and I've been a terrible person by not owning up to this mistake. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. It's OCD, 100%. :). The next morning I remembered it and acknowledged it had happened but for some reason at the time, I didn't feel guilty. I am going to focus on reducing the significance of this in my mind to help better manage the thoughts and compulsive rumination. Thanks: 2. Please read below for more information and resources about about OCD and what this subreddit is! However, OCD treatment is difficult, and that is one of the main reasons some stay away from treatment. Hope this helps somehow x. Thank you for this reply, some very helpful concepts here. All I ever do anymore is sit around and think about the kind of person I have been. Press J to jump to the feed. Hi Reddit. Wanted to ask for some help/insight/guidance as real event OCD and rumination is dominating my whole life. I've since learnt that possession of it is illegal in my country (UK) and my OCD has me convinced that I'm going to be arrested and listed as a sex offender and my life will be ruined. Check them out! When these intrusive memories come up, you feel a gut-punching sensation of intense guilt. Despite some minor set backs, I thought I was done. OCD can also be triggered by a traumatic event, and there’s likely to be a genetic component, too. If this is ocd I can talk to my therapist but if this isn’t ocd what do I do? Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. Abbreviated backstory: Basically my Real event OCD came because of the guilt i acquired from two indiscretions in my relationship (i made out with two people who were not my partner). My Real-Event OCD is eating me alive. And no I've never gotten past it. Real event OCD, petrified of being arrested So it's hardly something I'm proud of, but when I was a teenager I had something of a hentai phase and a few times I looked at loli/shota. Another friend told me not to trust her and I was really confused and not sure why, my mental health was already deteriorating at that point (about six months ago). Still, this therapist was not an expert in OCD, particularly the more subtle kind I had. For background, I (M, 27) have struggled with OCD in various forms for the past 10 years, from the more 'magical thinking', to the existential, harm/self-harm, pOCD, hOCD, you name it. Because I was consuming all of this human waste, I … Cheating OCD often comes about after a night of drinking. Distract. But that all changed two weeks ago. Do you have any tips on how to build self-compassion? For example, events that may be associated with an exacerbation of ROCD symptoms include committing to an exclusive dating relationship, having sex or being intimate, getting … I’m just very confused as to whether the level of guilt is created by real event ocd, reassurance seeking: what I’m doing right now and seeking out support from my counsellor and therapist, Rumination: thinking constantly about everything even minutely related to this, Obsession with confessing or the idea of confessing, Feeling guilty for not feeling guilty about this. If you feel comfortable, talking to your therapist may help to shed some light on the Real Event OCD you are experiencing. Roy21. It's like a constant circle of negativity and low self-esteem. I know I can’t change the past, but I want to be better in the future and not behave like this again. Hey guys, I’m Kevin, I’m 23 years old and I’m suffering from OCD. When I’ve made previous posts on other subreddits people have told me to forgive myself, that my behaviour wasn’t right but it’s okay to move on and be better in the future. I’m struggling with real event OCD, I have been diagnosed with OCD. I’m trying to stop watching porn and have been reconnecting with my Christian faith. I feel like the only way I can overcome this is by coming clean to her, but I can't bear the thought of hurting her (another of my OCD themes from the past) or ruining what we have. I’ve been suicidal over this and it’s really made me question a lot of things about myself. But I feel like I need punishment and like I don’t deserve a second chance at being a good person. Log in to Reply. I'll be better some days than others and then it'll come back full force. In general, I just don’t know if this ocd. I am relieved but it doesnt help much, its just nice to be able to specifically know what i am suffering from. I am in my early 20s, I am gay and was raised very Christian. Thankfully, he didn’t think I’d acted on any of these thoughts, or that I would, or that I was insane. I never intended to cause harm or violate anyone - but I now know that’s exactly what I’ve done since the harm was in my lying and deceiving. Hi, The past 6 months I’ve had extreme cheating ocd, so I can totally relate to what you’re going through. 17 May 2016 - 12:37. I was bullied in high school because of being gay. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines. I still sometimes have false memories and panic attacks over whether I cheated in the early stages of my relationship, which sounds like what’s happening. Everything was perfect, and I've never done anything that could remotely be considered since. Since I stopped using the fake profile I’ve been seeing a therapist (for CBT and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, to help with my OCD/Anxiety and to help me act on my values not my fears) and a counsellor too. However, I unsure how to atone and make up for what I did. I’ve been suicidal over this and it’s really made me question a lot of things about myself. A 2011 meta-analysis looked at 14 separate studies involving identical and non-identical twins, designed to tease apart the relative contribution of genetic and environmental factors in someone developing OCD. Me included. Forum User. I used the fake profiles because I didn’t want to be found out as gay or have my face connected to my nudes. The chats were often sexual, but I never shared any photos or chats with anyone else. Is it just my OCD saying that I don't feel like I should be allowed to 'get away with it' as I need to be punished? I was almost blackout drunk, in a nightclub, and have this memory of a few seconds of kissing someone on the dancefloor. OCD is often called the 'doubting disease' because deep down, the sufferer knows the thoughts are irrational. Today i found out that Real event OCD is a thing! Things got pretty serious in the months after this but she reaffirmed in March-ish 2019 that she still didn't want to be in an official relationship. I am obsessed with the fact that I might have cheated on my girlfriend, and I can't live with the guilt. Real event OCD regrets is it the same as intrusive thinking. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. I was friends with this girl who manipulated me, but at the time I didn’t know as I was new in a job. I can't remember what they looked like, or how it even happened, but this memory is seated into my brain. Thanks: 28. Real event / cheating OCD. Real event OCD can be insidious because along with anxious thoughts and feelings, it also presents with pervasive feelings of guilt and shame about something which you did in the past. Join date: May 2016. But he didn’t know what else to do, and ultimately my first round of therapy sputtered out. Hope you enjoy! There are many people out there who have done things they regret a lot. Whenever I create a scenario in my head, it turns into a “memory” minutes, hours or days later. Hope this helped! Join date: May 2016. My obsession right now is of a real event. Even if you cheated in your relationship right now, it doesn’t make you a bad person. I hope you can spare a minute to have a read through this and any help would be much appreciated. Source: http://www.ocdspecialists.com/real-event-ocd/ On a side note, www.ocdspecialists.com is a great resource for learning about OCD! Relationship OCD symptoms sometimes intensify when relationships undergo transitions. 18 May 2016 - 18:58 . I realise this might sound like I'm searching for reassurance and I know that's counter productive, but I just felt like I needed to get my thoughts down on paper (so to speak) and try and work out how the hell I go forward. I’ll start therapy next month. So in short, I'm really struggling with this, can anyone relate? I also don’t know where to go from here? US: 1-800-273-8255 or text HOME to 741-741, Non-US: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines. I was into her from the start and to me, it felt quite intimate and I never had eyes for anyone else. Relationships are not black and white, and you were certainly in a grey area with your situation. Re: Real Event OCD & Guilt by throwaway5487 » Wed Apr 19, 2017 11:22 pm but did I molest my sibling somehow? Relationship OCD is a type of obsessive-compulsive disorder that causes frequent and disruptive uncertainty and anxiety in relationships. I know it's difficult but you deserve and need it. The sufferer of this theme could start experiencing intrusive thoughts that they’ve cheated just hours after the event or days, weeks, months, years later. Or do I need to say something to her as it's the right thing to do? i don't know if i can accept not thinking about it without feeling bad. Real Event OCD? When I’ve made previous posts on other subreddits people have told me to forgive myself, that my behaviour wasn’t right but it’s okay to move on and be better in the future. It’s something you’d rather not deal with, but you would be absolutely fine. The good news, however, is the treatment is the same no matter what type of OCD you have. PAST REAL EVENT OCD. I didn't tell anyone apart from one of my friends on the holiday who said 'I didn't see anything happen'. Please read below for more information and resources about about OCD and what this subreddit is! But the guilt and realisation of what I was doing really hit in late October and has been severe since then. xmesq. I stopped using this fake profile and deleted all accounts/chats/photos in September. New to forum and I had a unstable upbringing which has left me with some memories of things that happens to be and the silly things I regret doing as a young lad. I can’t tell if the level of guilt I’m feeling is real event ocd or if this just what I deserve to be feeling. I feel sick. There are so many variations of OCD: hit-and-run OCD, harm OCD, and real event OCD, to name a few. Cancel culture and all that is massively triggering and is "in vogue" at the moment so it's very toxic environment for ocd sufferers with this theme. or is that one of those things where I might never know and should move on? Hi . I can't let go of my shame. The justification that I 'got away with it' because we weren't in an official relationship just isn't holding up anymore. Be there short, I thought I was doing really hit in late October and been! 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